where do i start?

how do i put into words how MUCH six days changed my heart?

how do i share:

the group—  feeling displaced.  what is my purpose? what do i have to contribute?

the place—  how can one believe in God in this level of desolation?  my response– how can i NOT?

the people—  choosing to live instead of just exist, hearts for God and a faith i long for, kindness and hope to share.

the kids—  God heard my prayers, knew what i needed, and arranged each moment.

the quiet moments— the mountainside, the breeze, holding hands, smiles, constant prayers, new friendships.

the tears— the first glimpse, the shoe shine, how great thou art, the market place, feeling misunderstood, the orphanages.

the laughter—  dancing on bug spray, toe jam, dancing in a box, card games-nnnnnnnUKE, the desperate rooster, giving the Lord praise (oooOOOO), newsflash– i’m competitive!

the relationships —  they’re messy, must be intentional, take time, moments, opportunities.

my heart—  God sees it even if no one else does.  willing to grow.  no mission except to see God, hear God, do the work of God.

i'm gonna be bold, yo.

i think i want to start to share my haitian journey by being bold.  i am gonna say i believe there is a God.  i believe He did send his son, Jesus,  to die for our sins, and i believe Jesus did conquer the grave.  now, these entries will have my normal take on life — the silly, the sad, the serious– but, i cannot truly honor the experience i had if i don’t first and foremost say  i believe the gospel is REAL and worth living for.

maybe me writing this down doesn’t seem “bold” to some, but to a recovering “people-pleaser” like me  this is huge.

my short time in haiti taught me that i can either be lulled to sleep by the conveniences and comforts i have here at home, or i can choose to see life stripped of the bare basics and ask tough questions of God.

it may take me a while to sort through all my thoughts, emotions, and God lessons.  i know that’s okay.   in time, i’ll be able to get it all down.

i hope i NEVER stop getting God moments from this amazing experience, but there is one thing i HAVE to say before i get into all my “stuff”–  God is in haiti, and the faith of the haitians taught me i don’t have to be afraid of the sadness and strife of life because God is in it.  their unwavering love for God  leaves me longing for a closer relationship with my savior.

and here’s  the kicker, homeskillets– all i have to do is ask.


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