a personal note

i am LIVING this clip right now.  i feel like i’m talking a different language, and i am totally not gotten.

in the past month i have had a couple of relationship breakdowns.  i have opened myself up, really tried to connect, to get personal.  so, of course, i’ve been talking, homeskillets.  shocked i’m sure.

so.  there i am. yakking away.  i think i’m sharing some good stuff, and i am hit with a look or sent a non-verbal cue that i’m not cool.

i’ve been really thinking about this.

is it me?  AM I NOT COOL????  that can’t be right.  CAN IT?

i have to admit.  this self-analysis stuff has been really harshin’ my flo.

so.  i’ve been wondering what is “cool”.

  • am i cool if i just do what others want me to do?

  • am i cool if i just keep my feelings stuffed inside?

  • am i cool if i choose to just talk about superficial stuff, and never ask hard questions?

no.  i don’t think changing or being uncomfortable with who i am is cool.

it’s cool to be messy and vulnerable.

it’s cool to get personal.

even if i get hurt.  even if i’m misunderstood.

cool or uncool — i don’t care.   i’m staying personal.

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the oscars– this girl’s super bowl

watching the super bowl with the hubby makes me wish it was oscar night– my personal super bowl–  ’cause seriously, who needs sweaty guys in pads and cups when you can have spray-tanned stars in spanks and double stick tape??!

so.  with that in mind– i give you an oscar-licious movie list.

titanic — best picture —  i papered my college dorm room in pictures of leo after seeing this movie ten times in the theater.  there was one day nonny and i skipped class to go see it– then stayed to watch the second showing.  total time in theater– 7 hours.

Jack:  Rose! You’re so stupid. Why did you do that, huh? You’re so stupid, Rose. Why did you do that? Why?
Rose:  You jump, I jump, right?
Jack:  Right.
Rose:  Oh God! I couldn’t go. I couldn’t go, Jack.

lord of the ring:  return of the king — best picture —  ahhhhhh… another great midnight movie memory. the lord of the ring trilogy was definitely worth missing sleep for–  i was super pregnant with thing 1 when the two towers hit theaters.  iwent to the midnight showing in my pajamas with slippers on and a pillow and blanket.  i’m hardcore, homeskillets.  hard.core.

Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?… See what?
Gandalf: White shores… and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: [smiling] Well, that isn’t so bad.
Gandalf: [softly] No… No it isn’t.

gladiator — best picture —  this movie is THE definition of honor and loyalty.  maximus sacrifices his identity, loses his family, and his life– to reveal evil.  oh, to be so brave…

Maximus: What we do in life echoes in eternity

forrest gump — best picture —  i remember the first time i saw forrest sitting at the bus stop–  his feet slightly turned in, holding a box of chocolates.  he grabbed my heart.   i still get teary-eyed when forrest’s son, forrest, introduces himself to the bus driver.  he climbs up on the big bus all by himself– while daddy forrest sits on a tree stump with his feet slightly turned in and waits for his return.

Forrest Gump: You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father’s bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin’ was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn’t. Little Forrest, he’s doing just fine. About to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He’s really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He’s so smart, Jenny.

sabrina — best screenplay — this is the one with audrey hepburn and humphrey bogart– not the one with harrison ford and julia ormond (which is also great)–  think gorgeous dresses, love against all odds, and a lovely dance number.  total heaven.

Sabrina Fairchild: All night long I’ve had the most terrible impulse to do something.
Linus Larrabee: Never resist an impulse, Sabrina. Especially if it’s terrible.

and the oscar goes to..........

this year i hope the king’s speech sweeps the oscars.  this movie has such heart and such vulnerability.   helena bonham carter may be a wackadoo, but i love her.  she is a shining example of a strong, supportive wife who sees the entire man and loves him fully– insecurity and all.

so.  there it is–a list of super actors, super movies, and not a super bowl in sight!

my night is clearly the winner!

HOLLA, hollywood!