right now i am under attack– i am battling the blah blah monster.
unfortunately, this isn’t the first time the monster has made an appearance. usually when the battle begins it starts small– like a well-loved blanket my life starts to feel slightly frayed around the edges. i know the monster is messing with me because a few key strings (relationships) start to pull, feather, snag on the day-in/day-out routine– misunderstanding and hurt feelings are the norm and i begin to lose energy.
that’s when i become one. sad. ‘skillet.
and, believe me– NO ONE enjoys a sad ‘skillet.
when i lose my joy (and my therapist can tell you, in great detail, about the times i have)– everyone suffers. thing one and thing two fight more and battle for attention. the hubs walks around like a kid who’s lost his favorite toy. and i just exist– sucking oxygen and filling space. i have nothing to offer and i become a shadow of what God made me to be.
thankfully, i’ve battled the blah blah monster enough to know how to win.
thankfully, my previous battle scars remind me– i am uniquely made and able to take on any challenge the monster might throw at me. the beauty of experience, pain, and conflict is– i have WISDOM.
i know i can CHOOSE joy. i know i can CHOOSE to participate in my life. i know i can CHOOSE to sparkle despite the nagging voice in my head that SCREAMS at me to stop.
see. i finally figured it out. the blah blah monster is just the part of me too afraid to make a choice– too afraid to participate in God’s plan for my life.
so now when the attack comes– i battle back with TRUTH.
i tell that blah blah bad boy to go sell sad somewhere else.
’cause this ‘skillet ain’t buyin’.