i had a great run this saturday! i completed 4 miles without stopping.
before i get to the juicy details– i have to give a shout out to a few new peeps that joined our ranks– there are now 7 bottoms bouncing in front of me instead of 4!
surprise, surprise– we gained a fella. i think he’s brave to be around sweaty, tired women– voluntarily.
to give him mad props– i think i’ll dub him “the ladies man” (i will use my best tim meadows voice to add “flava”). i’m sure he’ll be completely fine with this.
okay. down to business.
first off– i thought we were running 7 miles– so i got all “mentally prepared” for a beat-down. IMAGINE my dizzy excitement when i realized i was only required to move my feet in a forward motion for 4 miles! WOOT WOOT.
i honestly had no idea until i saw my homeskillets heading TOWARD me after they hit the 2 mile mark, turned around, and encouraged me with words like, “keep going! you’re almost half-way there!”
i was running a 5 minute pace behind my ‘skillets and not able to form words. i was concentrating on more important, life-saving skills– like breathing and staying in an up-right position.
my first thought was, “i am REALLY movin’ snail-style– they are TOTALLY faster than me.” but, my second thought was much less wahm-bulance material– when i realized i only had to run to the 2 mile marker.
i was all, “OH YEAH, I CAN DO THIS! I’M NOT EVEN GONNA WALK! WALKING IS FOR WIMPS!”
seriously, my runner-brain can turn on a dime. i think it’s the heavy-breathing and smell of sweat that makes me a little not right.
OH! and, speaking of “not right”– we went to a new trail head this weekend which provided me with new scenery and a new character to profile. both were life changing and made me realize just how lucky i am to be alive.
so. we set off on a new path. and i’m thinking, “new is good. new is fresh. new will keep me less focused on the possible pain. this. will. be. great.”— that thought lasted for about a minute and 48 seconds.
that’s the moment we had to run UNDER an overpass.
let me paint a picture of the scariest place i could ever find myself– long, narrow tunnel. shifty lighting. perfect 90 degree drop-off– into a creek on one side and DRAINAGE HOLES IN THE WALL on the other.
if my active imagination (and my interpretation of stephen king) is correct– this is an IT dwelling place.
that’s right– i had to RUN through an IT tunnel.
thankfully, i was still in the middle of the pack at this time– and, i’m not ashamed to admit i made sure there was a skillet on each side of me to buffer an IT attack. (and, by the by– NO ONE seemed aware they were in mortal danger– which just increased my anxiety)
i made it out of the tunnel. alive by the skin of my teeth. my ‘skillets pushed past me (darn gradual incline gets me every time) and ran ahead– leaving me to count my lucky stars all by my lonesome.
that’s when i encounter the shiftiest dude on the planet.
I can only describe this guy as a walking sketch-artist-rendering of a “mid-twenties, white male that has been spotted in the area and wanted for questioning.”
dude was wearing a mesh trucker hat covering every speck of hair follicle he had, mirrored sunglasses, a cheesy ‘stache that looked like a 7th grader had grown it, and (here’s the kicker) a short-sleeved button-down shirt.
as soon as i passed him i started scoping the area for a kidnapper van. THEN i started thinking– i’m the weakest link! he’ll come after me for sure!
i didn’t calm down until an asian man passed me heading in the direction of the weird perp (thoughts of mr. miyagi and jackie chan popped into my head– and i figured he’d take that freak OUT if need be).
after two brushes with death– in less than an hour– i ran to the 2 mile marker without stopping.
and made it back to the tunnel of death– by myself this time. i HAD to go in. i HAD to run through it. i totally DID’T want to– especially when i realized there was no ‘skillet sandwich to save me. i approached the mouth of the scariest place on earth, and suddenly became super-duper flo jo— up in the murf! everything got blurry.
that’s the fastest i’ve EVER run in my life.
i achieved a huge personal best this weekend– 4 miles without stopping.
the achievement was nice, but after picturing my demise–
not once. not twice. but, three times.
i just feel really lucky to be here.