i don’t like clowns

clowns are scary.  i don’t like them AT ALL.

hug you?? i don’t think so.

ronald mcdonald creeps me OUT.  his hair is too red, and his smile is too big, and his shoes are DEFINITELY over compensating for something.  but, ronnie mcD is really the least of my worries.

there is one clown so scary just thinking about him will give me nightmares.  i really shouldn’t be writing this–  he’ll probably find out and grab me when i least expect it.

but, i’m a grown-up and i’m gonna keep writing because the clown i’m thinking of–  is just a fictional character.  he’s not real.

he’s not real.

he’s just a character brought to life by stephen king– i mean he doesn’t even have a name– he’s really just an IT.

this is where i would usually post a picture so we’d ALL be on the same page– but, IT is too scary.

this is all you’ll get… and this is CREEPIN’ ME OUT

if i put a picture of IT on here– i’d NEVER be able to check this site again.

plus, i love my homeskillets too much to force IT on you.  so.  now  you know–  you’ll have to do your own research (and, i warn you– DON’T) if you want to see IT .

with that piece of biz-nezz squared away–  i’ll tell you why this book is totally creeptastic– and had me sleeping on my parent’s bedroom floor my senior year of high school.  that’s right.  SENIOR YEAR. holla.

this book plays on all my childhood fears–  a boogie man only children can see.  a boogie man that eats children.  a boogie man SO POWERFUL —  he makes the grown-ups  forget he exists — so there’s NO ONE to stop IT except the children he preys upon. scared yet????

I AM!!!!!!!!

thankfully, i have a funny memory about IT — to ease the tension and fear filling my body as i type.  this story takes place during my college days.  in a small town.  out in the middle of no where.

my best homeskillet and i were house sitting for a friend.  this house was surrounded by cornfields set waaaaaaaay back off a narrow road.  the ‘skillet and i thought it’d be fun to watch scary movies all night long, while in this creepy farmhouse, where no one would find our corpses for days and days–  by the 2nd movie we realized– not so smart.

john ritter– NOT scary

we decided to watch IT—  last.

my homeskillet laughed at me for being so scared of a made for tv miniseries starring john ritter (don’t judge– it’s truly terrifying to me).

we went to bed.

i slept with one eye open– praying that creaky floorboard sounds wouldn’t be the last thing i’d hear before IT  gnashed my body to bits.

my sweet ‘skillet slept like a rock.   (uhmmm.  i vote: total and complete punk behavior).

i made it til morning–but, was totally ready to leave the farmhouse with a quickness.  as we were driving back to town– we went over a hill that lead to a T in the road.

and— ON THE STOP SIGN WAS A SINGLE RED BALLOON!

nuh-uh!!

(this is were i insert the fact–  IT always shows up with balloons!!!)

ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHH!!!

i’m TOTALLY freaking out.  but, i don’t say anything.

because i’m afraid my ‘skillet doesn’t see the balloon and IT is about to eat my face off!!!

so.  there we are.  not talking.  at the stop sign.  staring at the balloon.

i finally break and say in a very shaky voice– “do you see the balloon???”

she. starts. laughing!!!

she was afraid i didn’t see the balloon and IT was about to eat her face off!

so.  there we are with our faces safely in their places.  two dorks.  scared of a balloon.  all because of IT.

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4 thoughts on “i don’t like clowns

  1. I felt the same way about Freddy in A Nightmare on Elm Street…I watched it for the first time at a slumber party around 8th grade…I was so scared after seeing that movie that I couldn’t sleep all night for a whole month. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see him.

    My dad finally helped me overcome it by reminding me that it was the same guy who played the silly, innocent-enough, mouse-eating character on the TV show “V.” I was okay with “V” for some reason… weird.

  2. “Everything happens for a reason…except for clowns. I mean, seriously, WTF?”

    I’ve always hated clowns, Tracey. “IT” is one of my favorite Stephen King books. I think the miniseries is one of the best adaptations of his work (along with “The Green Mile”, “The Shawshank Redemption”, and “The Stand” miniseries). It’s been over 20 years since I read that book. To this day, I there is no way in Hell I will walk over a storm drain. My children think I’m a loon when I absolutely freak on them for walking within 10 feet of one. One day I was driving down the street and there were 3 balloons (1 red, 1 white and 1 blue) stuck in a storm drain. [shudder] I almost had to be medicated.

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