since starting this little blog thang— i’ve noticed something.
there’s a thin line between being hidden and being transparent.
the difference is simply between “me” and “you”.
if i’m writing about my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings– with no agenda except to be KNOWN i hope i’ve stepped closer to being truly transparent– and, living a life for no one but God .
unfortunately, being transparent when you have the luxury of a DELETE button can be a struggle– and, like everything else in life it’s my choice. i’ve found it’s easy to distance myself from my true life story just by using the word “you” instead of “me”.
i am desperately seeking more love, peace, patience, kindness, forgiveness in my life every second of every day. but, if i hide my struggles by saying things like, “your heart can only be as open as you let it… you need to forgive as you were forgiven… you need to be slow to anger” — well then, how much longer will i have to live with my hurt or pain just because i keep it in the dark?
when “you” finds it way into the story– an honest retelling of my struggles and joys turns into an empty sermon that preaches things i AM NOT living up to. if i’m afraid to show how i fail, where i don’t measure up, or when i stumble– how can God be revealed and work? how can He lift me up? keep me humble? move me to change?
i really hope i’ll be brave enough to keep “you” out of my life. and, my ramblings will reveal only God’s work in “me, myself, and i”. i hope if i expose my soft underbelly– my homeskillets will feel comfortable enough to be just as open with me–
because life is a WHOLE LOT BETTER with a few REAL ‘skillets.
i pray by sharing the good, the bad, and the silly of my life i am working towards true transparency and a closer relationship with God– but, ALWAYS staying a girl who likes to say, “HOLLA!!”