a personal note

i am LIVING this clip right now.  i feel like i’m talking a different language, and i am totally not gotten.

in the past month i have had a couple of relationship breakdowns.  i have opened myself up, really tried to connect, to get personal.  so, of course, i’ve been talking, homeskillets.  shocked i’m sure.

so.  there i am. yakking away.  i think i’m sharing some good stuff, and i am hit with a look or sent a non-verbal cue that i’m not cool.

i’ve been really thinking about this.

is it me?  AM I NOT COOL????  that can’t be right.  CAN IT?

i have to admit.  this self-analysis stuff has been really harshin’ my flo.

so.  i’ve been wondering what is “cool”.

  • am i cool if i just do what others want me to do?

  • am i cool if i just keep my feelings stuffed inside?

  • am i cool if i choose to just talk about superficial stuff, and never ask hard questions?

no.  i don’t think changing or being uncomfortable with who i am is cool.

it’s cool to be messy and vulnerable.

it’s cool to get personal.

even if i get hurt.  even if i’m misunderstood.

cool or uncool — i don’t care.   i’m staying personal.

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