why did the chicken…

straight up chicken, yo

okay.  so, i haven’t had the best week.  i’m pushing through feelings of inadequacy to share a truth about myself.  i hate confrontation.  if you’re reading this–  and, you’re surprised  my awesomeness can’t take a shake down– well, now you know.  if you’re reading this–  and, you always knew i was the equivalent of kentucky fried– i say, holla.

and, if you’re reading this–  and, we’ve shared a scuffle–  just know, in my head every word out of my mouth sounded like “BOK! BOK! BOK!”, and i was pretty close to losing my lunch.

i’ve gotten better with age,  and i’ve learned a good offense is the best defense. i try to address sticky situations quickly and fess up to any weird feelings or vibes from the get go.  i’m also okay with the prospect of everyone not being my friend.  (i mean, i rock.   and i’m totally cool to be around– but, if i geek you out it’s better if we don’t hang.)

holla! huge elephant here!

but, here’s the thing.  there are a few people in my life that i REALLY need to have a pow-wow with, but i am stone-cold chicken.  just thinking about talking out old hurts or addressing the huge elephant in the room leaves me with hives and a headache.  so, what do i do?

does this chicken cross the chasm of gross feelings and take on the elephant?  is it worth the drama?

the answer is yes.

just keep walking-- everything's fine

i’d rather get extensive dental work performed with limited drugs than have a face to face confrontation.  but, i hate living a life half-full.  i feel it goes against EVERYTHING i’m called to be.

i want to be a peace maker.  i want to live in relationship– not a fake’nbake world where we walk along pretending everything is normal when nothing could be further from the truth.

so, here’s my prayer:

“dear Lord, de-chickenfy my spirit..  give me the strength to talk to the people that have hurt me.  i confess i played a part in messing things up, my fear made me keep these people at arms length.  please help me rebuild these broken relationships and help us accept each others’ differences.  we may not be homeskillets, Lord, but we can at least be peeps.”

together again...

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5 responses

  1. I get cha homeskillet…confrontation just comes natural for some. Like nose hair, beautiful straight teeth, or perky cha-cha’s..but it’s not the case for most of the world. Here is the only solution I can give anyone…take small obstacles, conquer, gather strength and move onto the next. Take it one peep at a time. Miss u

  2. Awesome honesty…you found bravery by putting this into words. Go forward with that bravery held tight in your hand and your heart.

  3. I am in the SAME predicament RIGHT NOW. And, I know I have to do it…and I really don’t want to…but I have felt such conviction. So, I’ma gonna do it. I am doing the Esther study right now and everytime I feel scared, I just think of the COURAGE she must have had to muster up to talk to the KING of Persia. God musta had to do some serious DEchickenfying. He can do that for you…and ME! Yay us! :) Prayin’ for you!

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